Jim Fletcher, a regular reader from Ottawa who grew up in the Dunvegan area during the 1940s and 50s sent me a collection of consumer print ads from back then that’s making the round of senior social media. The compilation features everything from an ad for Vaseline petroleum jelly that touts the fact it’s pure enough to eat, to a Black Flag insecticide ad featuring a cherub-cheeked baby and the chilling headline: “No flies on me… with DDT.” And the file’s title — “how did we survive” — hints at the generational superiority of old-timers vs. snowflakes.
However, it was only when Terry drew my attention to an ad for Lux Kebab soap that my BS-o-meter started to flash frantically. The ad features 1950s celluloid sex kitten, Kim Novak, extolling the product’s power to keep one’s lady parts clean and smelling fresh. The “Keep Your Mimsy Clean” headline was amusing. However, given the mores of the times, there was no way the advertisement would have passed muster at the client’s board table or the industry regulator’s desk. It only took a minute or two to find the 1956 ad that the hoaxer had used as the base for his or her Photoshopped spoof.
Like much of fake news, there was a modicum of truth in the cavalcade of ads. Some of them were real… although shocking in today’s “we’ve come a long way” context. And many were fakes. For example, two other ‘ads’ pegged the needle of my Geiger counter for falsity. One was for Nico Time Cigarettes for Pregnant Women, which turned out to be a graphic from a computer game. The other had a young boy snacking on a stick of butter with the tag line: “Butter is slippery. That’s why we eat as much as possible to lubricate our arteries and veins.”
One of the images did tickle my fancy though: a vintage can of Bernard brand Dehydrated Water. The instructions on the label read: “Empty contents into one gallon of water. Stir until dissolved. Chill and serve.” Hoax, right? Wrong. The Bernard Food Company in Evanston, Illinois has been manufacturing cans of ‘Dehydrated Water’ since 1964. Their charming sales representative, Michele, admitted to me that the cans contained nothing but air, “but good, clean Evanston air.” When I asked how many cans they sold a year, she demurred to provide an exact figure. But she did confirm the company sold “LOTS,” stressing the upper case nature of her reply. I checked and you can buy an eight-ounce can on Amazon.com for $12 USD. However, you can also get it wholesale, straight from Bernard Foods. Michele tells me that the price is still $36 USD for a case of 12… plus shipping, of course.
50th in dry dock
While we’re on the topic of old-timers I wanted to offer a salute to former East Dunveganites, Marile and Jim Tilker, on the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary. I know from their daughter Kate that the Tilkers have always been quiet about their anniversary and have never expected anyone else to help them celebrate, including her. However, Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook gave me permission to mention it when the social media platform exploded last week with congratulatory messages and comments on the piece of edible folk art that Kate commissioned Ronna Mogelon to create. If you were wondering about the nautical nature of Ronna’s design, Jim and Marlie were avid sailors at one time. If you need proof, just ask Jim to grab a hank of braided rope from the back seat of his truck and show you how to tie a bowline or a sheepshank. In fact, the young couple was so attached to life on the waves they were married in the middle of Sydney harbour on a friend’s sailboat that had been festooned with yellow daisies. Sydney, Australia… not Nova Scotia.
Jim and Marlie met while working at the Financial Post in Toronto. Jim was in advertising at the time, and had received a job offer from the down-under office of Ogilvy & Mather. Being young and open to an adventure, they hopped on a plane and headed across the equator to Oz. They made friends quickly and when Jim’s dad came by for a visit, they decided to tie the knot (possibly an anchor hitch). Given the last-minute nature of the ceremony, there was no formal reception, so the Ronna’s creation was the only wedding-adjacent cake they ever had. I can attest that it was delicious.
Wisely — considering today’s travel restrictions — Jim and Marlie chose to make a return trip to Australia for their 40th anniversary… a visit that included an outing with friends in Sydney harbour on the same boat where they held their wedding. The original plan for their 50th was to flag down the train to Toronto and take in a concert at the newly renovated Massey Hall; however, the show was cancelled. So they spent the day at the National Art Gallery in Ottawa, followed by a feast of Chinese food, instead.
Congratulations and best wishes to you both.
Here’s the buzz…
Back in the days when settlers were clearing forests to plant crops and building rudimentary log shelters, sugar was a hard commodity to come by in the backwoods of Glengarry. For sweeteners, the settlers relied primarily on maple syrup and honey. My understanding is that they learned how to make the former from their Indigenous co-inhabitants. However, I was surprised to learn that European settlers introduced the honeybee to North America, as early as the 1600s.
That’s not to say Canada (or America for that matter) was bee-free before then. It’s estimated that there were between 500 and 800 native species of bees that had been helping with pollination for eons before the Viking longboats hit shore. However, for the most part, these bees didn’t have a strong sense of community, preferring to live and work on their own. The trait the European bee brought to the table was the drive to work together communally to sock away food energy in the form of honey. By providing the queen bee and her retinue with man-made hives they could use as honey storehouses, the settlers could harvest the sweet golden crop for use as a sweetener, and also medicinally.
To celebrate the importance of honey in pioneer households, the Glengarry Pioneer Museum is introducing a new event to its roster this summer: the Glengarry Honey & Garden Festival on August 21st. Marlie Tilker has volunteered to chair the organizing committee and I asked her what’s in store. She says they are very early in the planning process. That said, in addition to highlighting our many local honey producers, some activity suggestions include: seminars, hands-on projects and a honey tasting competition. “The role of the museum’s garden in the production of honey will also be featured,” Marlie told me in an email. If you’d like to participate as an exhibitor or sign up as a volunteer, please contact the museum at 613-527-5230.
Jennifer Black, the museum’s curator, tells me that they are now accepting resumes for summer student employment at the museum. The deadline for students to apply is April 11th. For more details, check the ad in this week’s Glengarry News. You can also keep your eye on social media and check the museum’s web site.
I’m told the museum has high hopes to bring back perennial crowd-pleasers like Stitch In Time, Smith-In, the Art Show, Harvest Fall Festival… with Cow Patty Bingo, Life in 1812, Music Under the Stars and a Christmas event of some description.
Another positive sign the world is awakening is that the Dunvegan museum has seven weddings booked between the May long weekend and October 1st. And these are all the full wedding package, including receptions. As Jennifer points out, the museum’s photogenic, open-air venue is definitely a draw.
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